Venusha

he's just not that into you

2009-07-05T15:11:00.001+07:00

and still counting.... when's this gonna stop??!?!?!?

argh

2009-06-07T23:53:00.002+07:00

tango was such a bad idea !!! then why did i go through with it ?????
stupiiiiiiiid stupiiiiiiid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

tangled

2009-05-18T20:31:00.001+07:00

feels unloved and confused.

doing the right thing

2009-05-07T18:21:00.002+07:00

i sure did the right thing, along with a big white lie.
oh why do we like playing with fire sometimes...

friendship

2009-02-23T19:37:00.003+07:00

there are 2 types of friends in the world: true friends, and party friends.
party friends care about getting you drunk n wasted on the weekend. true friends tell you to stop when you're doing too much of everything and about to climb up the bar and embarrass yourself in public.

true friends console you in times of need, help you move out of your apartment when you get kicked out, and tell you when you're wrong even though sometimes it hurts to hear the truth.

point is, treasure them because they're the people who do give a shit about you.

i think...

2009-02-17T18:32:00.001+07:00

i think i hate my job.
FUCKKKKK...

arus

2008-10-09T19:17:00.002+07:00

would it be better to stick to the plan or do something completely different? i really can't decide. but my gut feeling tells me to jump right into the new plan. people who are reading this would probably say "go with your gut feeling!", but i really don't know whether i should trust myself because the new plan is not as big as the first plan.
okay, first plan is to go to the states to work and do my masters. in a blink of an eye, i made another big plan to move to melbourne early next year to work for a year. of course, the new plan is not as BIG as the first one.. but i found it very much appealing. i just got back from melbourne and seems like im in love with the city (more than i thought i would).

now im confused.

thoughts???

men of my kind

2008-09-21T02:33:00.002+07:00

i stumbled across an interesting 'point of view' - so to speak. the BlackBerry syndrome swept the lonely city of Perth in storm. most of my close friends have one, and somehow it became part of their arm and brain (this equals to : being anti-social in public). my dear nokia is dying so i was thinking to get a blackberry too... but it's obviously quite pricey and on second thought, i don't really need it - all the beeping facebook/email/msg/bb messenger is a little too much for me... and that voice msgs!!! faaak that thing is so annoying. it may be gud for someone who's having a long distance relationshit, otherwise it's just a tool to enhance someone's anti-social behavior (what happened to face-to-face conversations??? and isn't it annoying when ur having coffee w/ ur friend and he/she is busy BB-ing? i hate it.

but that's not the point of this post. the real story is, my guy friend (who has a BB) told me to get a BB, and i told him i might, but im just gona wait til i really desperately need it because i feel bad for asking my dad to buy it for me. his answer was, "you're a girl, you shouldn't be worried about that!"

me: "but i feel bad, im trying not to demand things i don't need. trying to be independent here.."
guy: "girls don't need to be independent. if you're fortunate enough then you can get what you want, and later you can find a rich/well-off husband to support your life"
me: "....."

i don't really agree with what he said there. women do need to be independent these days, if not what happens if dear husband cheats on you? or leave you for another woman? you're not gonna beg him for money.. that's why us women need to have some kind of financial independence!
on the other hand, i don't blame him for thinking that way.. it's just, u know, women need to be less dependent on men/parents or perceived as being too 'soft'.

i wish for an understanding, broad minded, down-to-earth future husband who would eat street food with me.

late night rants

2008-09-09T02:51:00.002+07:00

listening to glenn fredly's songs brought me back to the past, around 3 years ago when i moved to perth for good. it was one of the most exciting moments because i had my first taste of ultimate freedom. 3 years later, here i am at home writing this blog at 4am with a couple of drops of red wine... insomnia strikes again!! this really bothers me cus not being able to sleep is really frustrating.. it's just incredibly annoying cus not only my brain had shut down many hours ago, but i am stuck in the suburb, watching endless tv shows online... ALONE! i get used to it tho. the reason i don't stay at a friend's house is because the best place to sleep is on ur own bed... (now am i right or what?)

a few more months til uni ends. can't wait!

rom-com

2008-09-09T02:37:00.003+07:00

it would be nice to experience a real life version of a romantic comedy film.

gahh... dream on.

can't wait

2008-09-07T20:22:00.003+07:00

i really can't wait to move out frm this city...
been thinking to move to europe to do fashion accessories design.. but i still wanna pursue a career in the film industry.
i just don't know what to do with my life.

ngenge

2008-08-20T01:38:00.000+07:00

ngengengengengengengengengengengengengengngengengengngenge !!!!

thoughts

2008-08-18T23:19:00.000+07:00

so many questions in mind, so little time.

tentang uang

2008-08-11T21:01:00.003+07:00

kegunaan uang adalah untuk membeli. orang belanja baju biar keliatan keren, biar keliatan mampu dan masuk ke sebuah kalangan masyarakat tertentu. beli handphone bukan cuma buat nelpon, tapi biar keliatan up to date dan canggih, bisa juga buat memudakan hidup dgn banyaknya feature2 yg ada. uang berbicara, menentukan status seseorang dengan apa yang ditampilkan di luar -- atau yg ada di dalam dompet.

ketika uang tak ada, maka manusia membeli gengsi di mangga dua. serba-serbi aspal (asli palsu) tersedia buat yang berkocek minim tapi pengen 'gaya'. padahal 'gaya' kan bukan berarti pake barang ber-merk dari ujung rambut sampe jempol kaki... tapi kalo kata ibu-ibu arisan, "malu dong, gak oke deh kalo nggak pake merk"

yah, manusia memang hobi beli gengsi.

fingers crossed

2008-08-08T02:06:00.001+07:00

oh gosh... fingers crossed.

sunday

2008-08-03T18:34:00.003+07:00

i hate sunday.

i've always hated sunday cus it is the day where most shops/cafe close (at least in perth), and it's also the day where everyone's busy doing their own thing. there's nothing to do on a sunday except going to the city (and do what... ?) and sleeping the whole day (not recommended, cus you'll wake up at the end of the day feeling like shit )... maybe hangout with friends, but even they don't know what they're gonna do on a sunday. i feel like going to watch the dark knight by myself (yes, everyone's watched it but me), but wouldn't that make the day worst than it already is? or maybe i just need some time for myself?

i want to go back to jakarta. or somewhere, anywhere but here.

global warming

2008-07-31T23:46:00.003+07:00

pengen ikutan bodyshop documentary competition di jakarta tapi gak bisa secara gw udah balik. temanya boleh pilih salah satu, ttg domestic violence, global warming, dan HIV/AIDS. if i have a chance to enter this competition, i would choose the global warming topic. i just hate the fact that literally almost EVERYONE in jakarta burn rubbish as a way to destroy it. not only does it contribute to global warming, but rubbish burning clogs up our lungs! aaaargh i just hate it. i also think that indonesia should impose a new rule that limits 2-3 cars per family. some people just have too many cars. plus the mega-pollution-fuelled kopaja and metromini needs to be re-designed to be more environmentally friendly..and people friendly too.

anyhow, back in a land downunda... it's freezing cold here, im curled up under the blanket with a dvd. laper nih, tapi klo nyemil takut ga bisa stop haha.

northern lights

2008-07-30T00:46:00.001+07:00

some day, somehow, i'd like to see the the northern lights...

ide buat cowo2, klo mau ngelamar pacar disana DIJAMIN diterima! hahhah

hahaha

2008-07-27T17:54:00.002+07:00

oh my gosh, i can't stop laughing in my head HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA...
if only i can extend my trip.

going home... home? what home?

2008-07-26T14:20:00.002+07:00

"home is where your heart is"

and mine is definitely not in perth.

sad.

not looking forward to go back to perth. it's winter there so it's gona be cold and gloomy. perth-ians need more entertainment!!!

plans

2008-07-21T23:32:00.003+07:00

plans before leaving jakarta:

1. last shooting on wednesday
2. nagih gaji dari para bos
3. take my dog to the doctor
4. catch up with friends
5. spend time w/ grandparents
6. spend time w/ parents (this translates to: berbaik-baik utk menebus dosa pulang pagi terus)
7. ambil batre laptop
8. salon, manicure, pedicure, eyelash curl (if only this could be done in 5 minutes.......)
9. look for internship programs
10. prepare master application materials
11. look for inspiration n actually start writing
12. reduce smoking
13. cari bahan utk bikin dress santai
14. Submit polaroid to KONFIDEN film festival
15. go for a massage
16. clubbing/lounging/cafeing/something of some sort...
17. buy dvds
18. watch movies in the cinema
19. learn to make banana cake at oma's house
20. go to loka in kemang (cus i haven't been there)
21. nyobain perosotan yg gosipnya seru di FX

butterfly

2008-07-09T20:26:00.003+07:00

i'm a lonely butterfly
storming through the day with my yellow wings
while trying to rest on a bright pink flower
to brighten up my day
i can see it from far away
the bright pink flower
where i can rest my soul in
so bright, yet so far
i pound my wings so hard that i almost fall
but when i get there
the bright pink flower wasn't as bright as i thought it would be
not as soft as the winter snow
not as fragrant as jasmine
not real
it was just sitting there so lifelessly
it was
plastic.

i'm a lonely yellow butterfly
looking for a bright pink flower
to fill the emptiness
under the blue blue sky

midnight rants

2008-07-09T00:46:00.004+07:00

ah, the little things that tickles my brain

susahnya jadi perempuan

2008-07-08T20:55:00.002+07:00

susahnya jadi perempuan. semalam gue belajar menyadari satu hal, bahwa perempuan kurang dihargai di lapangan kerja indonesia. at least di bidang gue, yaitu film. pengalaman ini berdurasi 24, which means, gue kerja 24 jam non stop dari jam 5 pagi sampe jam 5 pagi hari selanjutnya. gue gak ngerti ya, knapa perempuan gak dibolehin ngerjain yang berat-berat di indonesia? gue mau ngangkat coolbox aja gak boleh, katanya "berat", mendingan gue "duduk manis" aja. yaelah, cuma coolbox doang nyet! gak tau aja kali klo gue biasa ngangkat semua peralatan shooting sendirian di sana. sebel gue kalo dianggep nggak bisa ngerjain gituan doang.

gue juga ngga ngerti knapa sih cowo2 (atau lebih tepatnya mas-mas) suka godain cewe yg juga anak baru?? bencong. pertama2 sih bisa ketawa gue, tapi klo dah jam 3 pagi i don't think i can smile anymore. cape. cape disuruh2 gak penting (contoh: disuruh nyariin ember buat nyirem toilet... emangnya lo kira gue pembantu umum??). cape nungguin sesuatu yang harusnya dah ready dan bisa dikerjakan sebelum diperlukan. oh well i think im just complaining way too much. kaget kali sama sistem kerja orang2 indonesia in general.

ada cerita yg agak lucu menurut gue. sang produser minta diambilin 2 teh sosro, sebagai production assistant yang baik hati dan tidak sombong, tentunya kucarikan minuman itu utk sang produser tercinta. ternyata teh sosronya masi dipindahin dari gedung lantai 5 yang angker itu. jadinya gue ambil Pocari Sweat utk diminum sendiri, dan menghampiri sang produser utk ngabarin kalo teh botolnya blom sampe ke bawah.
lalu ia pun bertanya, "itu pocari sweat buat siapa?"
"mbak mau?"
"boleh, tu buat si produser satu lagi"

oke, karena gue baik hati dan tidak sombong, gue kasih minuman itu.

gak lama kemudian, sang pembantu umum turun membawa plastik berisi teh botol yang obviously gak dingin lagi. karena gw baik, gue bawain 1 buat produser dan 1 kaleng pocari sweat utk gue sendiri.

"mbak ini udah ada teh botolnya, tapi nggak dingin."
"mm... kalo gue mau pocari sweatnya boleh ngga?"
"..."

WHAT NOW!?!?!?!?

untuk kesekian kalinya, karena gue PA yg AMAT SANGAT BAIK DAN SABAR, gue kasih tu minuman buat dia. so i drank the warm teh botol. FYI, it doesnt taste too gud warm.

i finally had 2 cans of pocari sweat that night. cold ones.

pididididappapaaa

2008-07-05T14:49:00.000+07:00

interesting, very interesting indeed.

tai

2008-07-04T20:42:00.001+07:00

what the fuck ?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

bo doh

2008-07-04T14:36:00.000+07:00

diberikannya uang untuk membeli sepatu
tapi malah dipakai untuk mabok
dikasih hati minta jantung
dikasih uang minta mabok
sepatu buat kaki
malah dibuat tangan
jalan pake tangan
makan pake kaki

goblok.

dasar perempuan bodoh tak bersepatu

disappointed!

2008-07-03T14:30:00.000+07:00

i finally get to watch 3 hari utk selamanya. love the soundtrack, loathe the film! okay, maybe i dont completely hate the film... but i expected so much more from two of my favorite actor/actress (nicholas saputra n ardinia wirasti), but it's probably just bad directing.. continuity di bagian pertama agak lompat2, n entah knp mereka rada kaku aja. i like the idea tho, the sexual tension between them.

baru nonton Medley, jeleknya minta ampun. jiplak asli dari 'butterfly effect' dan sedikit 'i think i love my wife' utk endingnya. basi basi basi basi basi basi basi. castnya yg cowo juga minta ampun jeleknya. tolong!!!

senja (revised)

2008-06-29T11:17:00.000+07:00

sang lelaki senja kembali menari di bawah lautan bintang
ia berdansa sambil mencoba memeluk bayangnya
berharap dinginnya kan hangatkan sukma

dan ia pun larut dalam malam penuh kecupan tak bermakna

senja

2008-06-28T18:22:00.000+07:00

sang lelaki senja tiba di malam penuh kecupan tak bermakna.

looking good for your partner

2008-06-20T01:11:00.000+07:00

as a normal functioning human being, i think that people who are in a relationship should maintain their appearance for each other. sometimes when a person is in a relationship, usually men... forgot about the importance of appearance.. such as: they start gaining weight (look at newly-wed men), forgot to shave, dont dress to impress anymore, burps and farts as often and as loudly as possible, etc etc. this applies for women too. especially if you've been going out with your partner for ages.

i know this may sound shallow/harsh, but i think appearance plays an important part in a relationship. sometimes u gota make an effort to look good in front of ur partner to keep the fire going. im not talking about being a tight-ass bitch who's only concerned about table manner and keeping one foot in front of the other kinda thing.. but u know, it wouldn't hurt to make more effort on our looks for the sake of reliving the times when you and your partner have not started dating..

remember that time when you spent 2 hours in front of the mirror before going on a date?

istana pelangi

2008-06-20T00:07:00.000+07:00

di gelapnya malam, pikiran ini menjalar liar ke penjuru tempat. ia mulai bercabang bagai ranting tak berujung, menelusuri jendela-jendela bercorak pelangi yang mengumandangkan senandung rindu. kuncup-kuncup mulai bertumbuhan di antara jemari kayunya, lalu putihnya mekar bersemi hiasi istana pelangi.
sang ranting memeluk angin, memanjat langit, dan menggapai awan dengan jari-jari kekarnya. ia coba menggapai matahari, tetapi panasnya membakar ujung jarinya, menjalar hanguskan bunga salju yang tadinya menghujani bumi. sang api dengan ganasnya melahap ranting hingga akarnya dengan lidahnya yang panas.
merubah jendela pelangi jadi abu.
hancurkan guratan mimpi yang terukir di pilar-pilar cinta.
runtuhkan istana pelangi jadi serpihan awan hitam.
sisakan lara bagi penghuni pondok salju.
yang tersisa hanyalah sebutir sesal akan hilangnya sebuah mimpi.

the Pandora's Box

2008-06-19T16:05:00.000+07:00

i think i just opened the pandora's box of suppressed memories .
whyyyyyyy ?? whyyyyy!?!?

sshh...

2008-06-09T02:30:00.001+07:00

"shh..." is the sound you make when you want the person next to you to shut up.
"shh..." is the sound you make when your lover screams in pleasure.
"shh..." is the sound you make when you don't want your secret to be told.

"SHH... "

"i have a crush on you"

polaroid

2008-06-05T12:41:00.000+07:00

after weeks of shooting and endless editing session, the POLAROID is finally out for review! thanks for everyone who participated and supported this short film.
Go to www.youtube.com/nadiaastari to watch Polaroid.

!@#$%^

2008-05-21T14:15:00.000+07:00

my head is about to explode

i wish

2008-05-20T00:30:00.000+07:00

here i am, stuck in a dark pit of no return, wondering if everything is going to be alright, wondering if the chaos around me will be gone, wondering if i've made the right choices. i bet we all wished that some parts of our lives don't exist, or wished that we made a better choice.. or wished that none of 'this' happens at this particular time of our lives. why why why. i always wonder why, but the answer is always the same: "maybe it's meant to happen". i wish i never hurt anyone's feelings. i wish i never said what i said. i wish i could be a little less self centered. i wish i could control my temper. i wish... i wish... i wish... i wish i never felt that way. i wish i could be more understanding of others who loves me.

why do we always take things for granted?

shut up

2008-05-18T23:00:00.000+07:00

need i say more?

just

2008-05-11T19:07:00.000+07:00

stop getting in my hair
stop getting in my way
stop hoping cus it'll never be
just.... go away. seriously. argh!

men and women

2008-05-05T17:43:00.000+07:00

people say men can't keep their mouth shut when it comes to sports, cars and where they stick their dicks in.
many says women can't keep their mouth shut when it comes to clothes, pets, groceries, cleaning, laundry, work, shoes, accessories, emotions, gossip, what's hot, what's not, who's sleeping with who, what nail polish the neighbor wears, who's had a wedgie in the office, who's fucking the boss... and the list goes on.

but sometimes we need to shut the fuck up and be like men. life could be simpler with sports, cars, and maybe... who's penis got stuck in our vaginas last night.

insurance policy

2008-05-03T18:25:00.000+07:00

religion is like an insurance policy, it offers various deals that determine what you will get out of life.

fcuk

2008-05-03T18:23:00.000+07:00

sick and tired.

selamat pagi dunia...

2008-04-13T23:38:00.000+07:00

perempuan itu duduk di pinggir ranjang dengan mengaduk secangkir kopi panas. sebelah tangannya menopang kepala yang berat akan bisa yang ia tenggak semalam. di belakangnya terdengar dengkuran halus seorang lelaki. ia menatap sosok lelaki itu. wajahnya terlihat lelah. alarm jam berbunyi nyaring, berangsur-angsur membangunkan sang lelaki dari tidurnya. ia menyapa lelaki itu, "selamat pagi".

lelaki itu menyapanya kembali dengan senyum terkulum, "pagi".

sang perempuan menyodorkan secangkir kopi kepada lelaki itu, "kopi?"

lelaki itu mengambil cangkir tersebut dari tangan sang perempuan, lalu menyeruputnya pelan.

"boleh tanya sesuatu ngga?", kata si perempuan.

"ya. ada apa?", jawab lelaki itu, masih menikmati kopi di tangannya.

"nama lo siapa, ya?"

ia tersedak.

"...."

(emansipasi wanita tahun 2008)

die die die

2008-03-06T19:21:00.000+07:00

stres. stres. stres. stres. stres. stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.stres. stres. stres. stres. stres.

si bodoh dari goa hantu

2008-02-22T20:42:00.000+07:00

si bodoh pernah bilang, bahwa dia punya banyak teman
si bodoh pernah bilang, kalau dia bisa bantu
si bodoh pernah bilang, "eh, si orang rokok itu tertarik sama project lo!"
si bodoh pernah bilang, deadline sudah dekat

si bodoh kira... kebohongannya bisa jadi nilai tambah
si bodoh kira... dengan itu dia bisa dipandang sukses
si bodoh kira... ganja 3 linting sehari bisa nambah isi otak
si bodoh kira... gue bego, bisa percaya sama kata-kata dia

tapi si bodoh pernah mikir nggak sih... kalo dia udah tua, single, dan menyedihkan?

my showreel

2008-02-19T21:10:00.000+07:00

hasil melotot di malam hari

2008-02-18T00:41:00.000+07:00

titik demi titik
ia melambung
lelehkan liurnya ke langit
bersama lamunan awan
di langit yang kelam

pelan-pelan ia menjalar
memanjat hilir angin
lalu terhempas kembali ke tanah
melebur dengan debu
di kumuhnya darat

aku adalah buih
yang melambung seperti awan
ringan seperti asap
silau bagai aura
menembus daya

titik sampai di ujung langit
menemani surya
sinari bumi
dengan hangatnya
yang leburkan lara

penting ya nek

2008-02-18T00:36:00.000+07:00

kriiiing kriiiing
kriiing kriiiiiiiiiiiiing!

"halo?"

!@#$%^^&*()

"iya, lo juga pergi?"

!@@##$%%^&*

"Barengan aja."

!@##$$%....

"Oke, oke..."

!@#$%^. klik.

tut tut tut...............

singkat. padat. dan nggak jelas.
basa-basi dikit nape?

Pura-Pura Besar

2008-02-15T01:37:00.000+07:00

Ketika ia kecil, ia selalu berdiri di depan kaca dan mengeluhi dadanya yang rata. Setiap pagi ia menyumpal dadanya dengan kaus kaki, sehingga terlihat lebih besar. Sesampainya di sekolah, semua murid laki-laki menoleh ke arah dadanya yang besar disumpal kaos kaki. Ia pun tersenyum bangga karena semua orang percaya dengan kebohongan kecil yang berhasil dibuatnya.

Sepuluh tahun kemudian, ia duduk di mobilnya sambil menunggu jam pulang kantor. Setelah alarm berbunyi, ia keluar dari mobilnya dan berjalan menuju tempat tinggal sahabatnya. Ia memasuki rumah dan menyapa empat orang temannya yang juga memakai baju kantor. Mereka menghabisnya sore yang melelahkan dengan membagi cerita tentang keseharian mereka sebagai orang kantoran yang sukses, ditemani dengan sebotol anggur merah dan selinting ganja. Obrolan mabuk yang selalu menjadi ajang pamer di antara mereka selalu berjalan seru. Pembicaraan mengenai gaji dan tawaran promosi sudah menjadi topik sehari-hari mereka. Tetapi malam itu ia hanya duduk diam sambil sesekali ikut tertawa, hanya untuk meramaikan suasana.

Ia kembali ke apartemen kecilnya dan merebahkan tubuh di kasur. Ia menatap langit-langit sambil menyulut rokok mentholnya. Air mulai menggenang di kedua matanya, lalu tumpah ke segala penjuru. Ia menangis, menggerung, dan berteriak menyesali hidupnya. Tawa yang ia kumandangkan tak jarang bertentangan dengan isi hatinya. Kemandirian yang ia pamerkan kepada teman-temannya adalah pemberian keringat orang tuanya. Pekerjaan tetap yang ia banggakan ternyata hanyalah sebuah kedok untuk dipandang tinggi oleh orang-orang di sekitarnya. Padahal penghasilan pokok yang ia terima adalah hasilnya bekerja di sebuah restoran di malam hari.

Sekarang ia menangisi kebohongan-kebohongan yang melekat erat di tubuhnya. Ingin rasanya ia menelanjangi atribut-atribut itu dan melangkah ke depan dengan kebenaran.

Walaupun dengan dada rata.

tetot

2008-02-15T01:35:00.000+07:00

yang ditunggu tak pernah datang
yang tak ditunggu datang terus
yang diharapkan datang selalu terlambat
yang tidak diharapkan cepat sekali datang
bingung
ketika yang diharapkan datang
aku tidak di rumah
sedang pergi dengan yang tak diharapkan
kesempatan terlewat lagi
sepi hati
lewatkan detik dengan yang tak diharapkan
sambil menunggu yang diharapkan datang
dengan tepat waktu

tetot
hpku berbunyi
kulihat jam
pukul 1 pagi
dia sms
aku girang
aku balas
dia balas
aku ketik
dia ketik
aku tunggu
hp diam
aku tunggu
hp diam
aku ngantuk
cape nunggu
dengkur... kur... kur...
TETOT!
sms masuk
aku girang
eh
bukan dari dia
sialan
ganggu orang tidur aja !

corat coret

2008-01-27T17:58:00.000+07:00

corat coret
penaku menggurat
menorehkan hitamnya di secarik kertas
membentuk makna dengan simbol-simbol kecil
mengukir cerita dari lorong imajinasi

pikiran pun melayang
hanyut dalam alur simbol tak berujung
mengalir mengusik masa lalu
lalu tenggelam dalam palung tanda tanya kehidupan
begitu dalam aku terjatuh
hanyut tergulung ombak
yang membawaku ke suatu tempat bernama surga

corat coret
penaku menggurat
menorehkan hitamnya yang hampir pudar di secarik kertas usang
membentuk makna dengan barisan simbol kecil
mengorek masa lalu dari lorong imajinasi

jari ku terasa lelah
mata ku terasa berat
aku pun mulai mendengkur
di atas lembaran kertas usang
berisi simbol-simbol memori
yang diakhiri dengan
tanda
titik
.

Fantasi

2008-01-25T14:15:00.000+07:00

Aku duduk di depan layar komputer sambil melihat ke luar jendela. Jari-jariku seakan membeku di tengah lamunan. Bengong. Bengong. Bengong. Ketika pikiran mulai kosong, fantasi pelan-pelan menjalar menyusup ke terowongan imajinasi yang tak berujung. Fantasi terbang perlahan dan masuk ke sebuah lorong yang penuh coretan warna-warni. Ia mengendap-endap masuk melewati warna-warni yang menyala, terbang di antara lapisan kabut tipis.

Fantasi sampai di sebuah lorong kosong yang gelap, lalu cepat-cepat menorehkan warnanya di dinding lorong itu. Warna merah menyala keluar dari mulutnya, menorehkan terang dalam lorong yang gelap. Merah. Merah mengingatkanku kepadanya lagi, lagi, dan lagi. Merah warna cintaku padanya, warna hasrat yang dulu membara membakar air. Dulu. Dulu membara. Fantasi sibuk menoreh lorong itu dengan warna-warna yang membutakan mata, lalu ia berangsur pergi, menjalar keluar dari terowongan imajinasi.

Aku tersadar dari lamunan panjang. Langit memerah tanda matahari terbenam, meninggalkan kota ini sementara untuk mengunjungi belahan bumi lainnya. Matahari selalu setia untuk kembali menyinari kota ini di pagi hari, lagi, lagi, dan lagi. Ia pun begitu, selalu setia menyinari hatiku kala redup walaupun aku sudah meninggalkannya. Tetapi ia tetap setia bersinar tanpa tanya. Jariku mulai mengetik : M a t a h a r i h a t i .

Ya, dia adalah matahari hatiku. Kau adalah matahari hatiku.

dendam

2008-01-25T13:03:00.000+07:00

ingin ku bunuh
dia
ingin ku cekik
dia
ingin ku setrum
dia
ingin ku jambak
dia

dasar monyet biadab.

detik

2008-01-22T22:36:00.001+07:00

tik tok tik tok
detik berdetak
jantung berdegup
mulut mendengkur
menanti mimpi mengetuk

tik tok tik tok
detik berdetak
mimpi mengetuk
relung jiwa bergetar
di ujung mulut imajinasi

tik tok tik tok
detik berdetak
gelas berdenting
pintu diketuk
mimpi meredup

tik tok tik tok
detik berdetak
mulut teriak
kaki berpijak
realita menampar

tik tok tik tok
detik berdetak
ayam berkokok
ia hilang
ditelan mimpi
dan detakan detik
yang terus berjalan
tanpa melihat ke belakang

merah putih

2008-01-22T22:12:00.000+07:00

kulihat merah putih berkibar di antara perkampungan kumuh di pinggir jalan tol
merah putih berkibar tinggi
merah putih bersemi
di antara polusi kota
di antara badai hujan

kulihat merah putih berkibar di antara perkampungan kumuh di pinggir jalan tol
merah putih pudar terkena polusi kota
merah putih pudar terguyur badai hujan
merah putih sayang
merah putih malang

merah putih tetaplah berkibar
walaupun pudar

let the game begin...

2008-01-22T20:41:00.000+07:00

This blog is a blank canvas, in which I will draw my thoughts and emotions of the world around me -- the good and bad, the weak and strong, the rich and poor, the black and white of faith, and anything in between us sinful living organisms.